Bakersfield College athletics are suffering through a new rash of obstacles. The men’s soccer team has come down with a record case of jock itch.
Jock itch is a fungal infection of the groin and upper thighs. It is caused by sweat. Many athletes around the world have encountered this unfortunate condition.
Many sports fans remember the epidemic that hit the University of Southern California football team just last year. USC head coach Pete Carroll said that he had never seen anything like it. Nearly 25 percent of the football team had this condition.
All but one player on the team have been diagnosed with tinea cruris (commonly known as “jock itch”).
The sole survivor, Tim Actin, expressed how grateful he was in being the only one not affected by this uncomfortable condition. “I am relieved,” said Actin. “I can’t imagine how the other guys are feeling. It’s gotta be horrible.”
Men’s head coach Leo Trimin has a good idea of why Actin was the only one not suffering from a genital rash.
“He never showers with the team,” Trimin said. “He was laughed out of the locker room after the first practice and hasn’t spent more than a minute gathering his things after each game since.”
“Who’s laughing now?” said Actin. Leading scorer Fung S. Johnson is the first Asian-born player to reach 100 goals for BC. He is captain of the team.
He also has the worst rash on the team. “It is extremely uncomfortable” said Johnson.
“I can’t run as fast as I normally do when my inner thighs feel on fire like they do.”
Team doctor Dr. Benny Durill says that other than topical creams, there is really nothing else that would speed up the healing process.
This fungus has been found with many college level athletic teams but has never been this severe.
“That’s not a record we want to set,” said goalie Dan Nohands.
Nohands’ opinion and concern is shared by many of the players on the team. School custodians have taped off certain areas of the men’s and women’s locker rooms.
There is an ongoing investigation on how this particular case of jock itch was found in the women’s locker room.
The BC athletics club is currently accepting any donation of anti-fungal cream and baby powder.