“Solaris,” the remake of Russian filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1972 movie of the same name, should be renamed “Slow-aris” for making its running time of 95 minutes seem twice as long.

George Clooney stars as Dr. Chris Kelvin who is called on to investigate a series of strange incidents that occur on a space station near the planet of Solaris which are vaguely described by a close friend who is aboard the ship. Upon his arrival, Clooney discovers a bloody scene in which his friend apparently took his own life, yet that is not the only surprise. Eventually, he will be greeted by his dead wife.

“Solaris” is a high-maintenance film for moviegoers. If you want to enjoy the movie, you must be willing to do a little soul searching and have patience to care as the movie lethargically zig-zags from flashbacks to the present. This is a huge “if” for most casual

moviegoers just interested in having a good time at the movies and not answering innermost human questions.

In the end, the only salvageable part of this movie was the nude shot of Clooney’s caboose, which almost gave the movie an R rating.

Not like I was partaking in the view, but there were others in the sparsely filled theater that were doing just that. A group of elderly women stuck around until Clooney dressed like Adam. They then proceeded to leave, citing Wal-Mart shopping to be done. People walking out of “Solaris” should be a common sight due its vastly vague plot that climaxes in an ambiguous ending.

The best description of “Solaris” comes from the movie itself, said by one of the initial survivors of the spaceship to Dr. Kelvin: “I can tell you what’s happening, but I don’t know that that would tell you what’s happening.”