Since I don’t contribute to my household financially, sometimes my incessant freeloading takes a hit on my confidence. Depending solely on my parents to sustain my lifestyle makes me feel uncomfortable, useless and guilty. Their legal responsibility to care for me ended almost five years ago, but they still find themselves paying for my toothbrush.

I am capable of getting a job, but the problem is if I get that job, my mental health would suffer tremendously and my ability to graduate from a university would be severely impacted. My goal at this moment is to focus exclusively on my education so I can embark on a career that doesn’t make me want to blow my brains out on a regular basis. 

To make myself feel better about this arrangement for the next year, I have decided to make myself useful in other ways around the house. I can’t contribute money, but I can use my mediocre skills to ease the stresses of pesky household chores.

Run errands

 My dad often works 14 hours days, so when he gets home and someone asks him to pick something up from the store, he is much too tired to go out and brave the long lines at the store. That’s where I come in. 

A few times a week, I have to drive my brother to pick up snacks, supplies or random gadgets from the store. If my mom forgot to buy something at the store earlier in the day, I have to go back and get it.

 I don’t want to lie and say that it’s ideal to do someone else’s errands after a long and stressful day at school. Like everyone else, I want to plunk down on the couch and watch Netflix for hours instead of having to go to Target for two hours at 8 p.m. when my bedtime is 11 p.m. 

I don’t always want to, but I make myself available for anything because it beats the adverse reaction I have to fast-paced, entry-level jobs. 

My dad doesn’t ask much from me, and if I can help him by running errands, then I’ll sacrifice a portion of my day, just like he sacrifices a portion of his pay to support me.

Become a maid

I haven’t mastered this aspect. I am naturally a very unorganized and messy person, so clutter doesn’t matter to me like it does to everyone else in my family. The only time I clean the whole house I when I’m manic [I’m Bipolar] and have an excessive amount of energy. That’s when I’ll tear the whole house apart for hours and perfect it until it looks and  feels clean.

Recently I’ve decided to try to take better care of myself, so I’ve started by cleaning my room and bathroom. Now my disgusting mess isn’t affecting the rest of the household and I’m honoring my father’s wishes to “clean that shit up.” Now when I get bored, I tidy up around the house. It creates a better living environment for me, but it also benefits everyone else. I don’t want to be nurtured for the rest of my life, I want to be able to take of myself. I think maintaining a neat and healthy space for myself and my family is the first step. 

Cook 

I’ll keep this section short because I don’t really know how to cook. I just know that when I’m making a burger or a sandwich, I should offer to make one for my dad. The man works so hard and he pays for the ingredients I stuff into my mouth. If I’m already there, I should just put a couple more together because no one deserves to eat my mom’s grilled chicken seven days a week. It doesn’t take much effort, but he appreciates the gesture. I don’t know if its value is equivalent to rent, but it’s something. 

If you don’t pay rent, I say be and do everything that is expected of a stay-at-home mom.