Living with family once you’ve transitioned into adulthood is a balancing act. You’re not yet dealing with the harsh realities of the real world, but you’re trying to prove that you’re mature and can handle yourself in tough situations. But the reality is, benefitting from this luxury can keep you from being self-sufficient, independent and productive, even in the most unimportant scenarios.

Living with family is distracting

While I don’t particularly get along with my family, they always manage to lure me out of the house for an excursion. Even though I’m more of a loner, the fear of missing out on something exciting pushes me to forget about my commitments and become enthralled by the trip instead. It doesn’t matter how insignificant the trip might be, I prioritize it to get out of the house to avoid doing my work. 

I tell myself it’s a much-needed break that will re-energize me so I can do the work to the best of my abilities. It’s a lie, but that’s what I tell myself. 

In a family of five, someone is always going somewhere, and I am always standing by to be the designated companion. 

That’s why it’s important to designate a time for productivity, where there are no distractions or interruptions.

Giving in to distractions isn’t worth it. It might serve as instant gratification, but it only deters you from completing the inevitable. Don’t feel pressured to join in on something. If you weren’t already thinking about it, then chances are it’s probably not that pressing. Stick to a schedule and honor commitments promptly to stay accountable and on course. 

Engage with family, if desired, but don’t let them become a hindrance in achieving any goals, even daily ones.

You’re too needy

The longer I live with my family, the harder I find it to become my own person. I may have benefitted from being kicked out of the house at 18 to fend for myself. 

I’ve been cradled my entire life and haven’t had to deal with any serious issues on my own. I always have my dad’s help, and he always guides me in my approach to a situation.

But I’ve become too dependent, and I find it hard to solve problems on my own. I always need one assuring voice to help me feel at peace with my decisions. 

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but he’s not always going to be here to hold my hand through every minuscule situation.

While it’s okay to ask for advice, it’s also okay to trust your gut and learn from your mistakes. Take things one step at a time and realize that someone, at some point in time, was in the same boat, and they made it through just fine. There isn’t a handbook for everything, and sometimes your best judgment is the only viable response or answer.

Take initiative 

I’ve realized since coming back home, I’ve become less of a go-getter when it comes to maintaining an orderly space. It might seem childish, but I’m stuck in a: I didn’t do it so it’s not my problem mentality. When I see something out of order, I don’t have an urge to fix it because I figure someone else will eventually get to it. I won’t have to do any of the work, but I’ll reap all the benefits. 

Being waited-on like this is making me lazy, and it has stopped me from taking initiative. I have to start addressing issues when they arise instead of harboring resentment until it’s taken care of. Especially when theres’s a strong chance no one will ever come to my rescue. 

As long as I’m taking steps to better my environment, it shouldn’t matter who else enjoys the benefits of my sacrifice. It’s my responsibility to fix things I don’t like instead of waiting for someone else to carry the burden. 

Don’t rely on anybody else.