You may want to hate Bernadette Peters, but she wins you over with her charm. Most women who talk like babies annoy me, but I guess she can get away with it seeing how she’s impossibly adorable.

She slinked on stage in a curve-hugging dress redder than her famous ringlets and did a lot of Broadway numbers, prompting the woman sitting behind me to say, “Why doesn’t she sing anything we know?” (I guess some people in the audience were uncultured sloths who wanted to hear only songs they could sing along to).

Peters has a voice that was made for Broadway – it’s high pitched like a song bird, although she should stay away from trying to hit lower notes since she really can’t do it.

Peters introduced some of the people playing in her band, including her drummer, who was the former Mouseketeer Cubby.

The woman in back of me heard the word “Mouseketeer” and told her friend, “You know Annette Funicello lives in Shafter and she has MS. Isn’t that terrible?”

This made me wonder why she had even showed up to watch if she obviously wasn’t interested in the performance.

A good thing about Peters is that not only was she in the classic movie “The Jerk,” but she gets into the music. She actually teared up through some of the songs.

For being 53, she looks good. At one point she was lying on the piano singing a song about always getting her man, and I believed it.

If I was a guy, I probably would have been turned on.

Besides the entertainment, another highlight of the conference was the free food.

Countless refreshment stands offering donuts, popcorn and frappucinos were set up for the crowd’s digestive delight.

Jelly Belly also had a freebie tent, showcasing a huge picture of Ronald Reagan made entirely up of jelly beans. Never before have I ever wanted to lick a former president’s face, except maybe Clinton’s.

Jelly Belly also had someone dressed up like a huge jelly bean.

If I didn’t think I would have gotten in trouble with all the security patrolling around I would have knocked him down since I don’t think he could have gotten up.

A Chester Cheetah also strolled around. Mascots such as Mr. Cheetah are delightful in a way that makes you want to punch them in the stomach.

Toward the end of the night there was a performance by the Ovation Orchestra. They played some really cool, swanky, jazzy tunes.

At times it was very ’40s Big Band, a la Glenn Miller. They even did an upbeat jazz rendition of “Me and Mrs. Jones,” which you could listen to without feeling dirty.

The closing entertainment was the fireworks. Explosions of light hit the sky while patriotic music played in the background.

The fireworks were really huge, and many had the red, white and blue theme going on.

Some looked so close, I was afraid I might get burned, which is what happens every Fourth of July at my house (although my eyebrows have finally grown back).

Watching the explosions and listening to the Sousa march play really gave the night some closure.

If Chester Cheetah had been there I would’ve given him a hug