Why, Jimmy, why? Every Saturday night I so looked forward to seeing you on “Saturday Night Live,” but now, I am left with the movie “Taxi” as my only Jimmy Fallon getaway.
I was heartbroken when I discovered Fallon would no longer appear as Nick Burns the Company Computer Guy, Sully, and my favorite, co-anchor on Weekend Update.
I felt redeemed to discover he would be starring in a new movie, but after seeing it, I seriously wished he was back on SNL.
“Taxi” was not a total waste of money, but I must say it took about half the movie for me to really start laughing.
Fallon’s drunken mother (Ann-Margret) in the movie was the funniest part.
Her baby talk and serious over-enthusiasm about ordering food to be delivered was quite humorous.
The movie began with Belle (Queen Latifah) speeding through the streets on her bicycle, doing tricks, flying down stairs and sneaking through parked subway cars.
This was her last ride as a bicycle delivery girl and her first day as a taxi driver.
Washburn (Fallon), an undercover policeman, ruins a bust, crashes his car and kills a parrot, leaving him demoted to a beat cop. This is where the trouble begins.
To make a very long movie shorter … Fallon is left without a car, he hears about a bank robbery, hops in Belle’s cab and they begin their odd couple pursuit for justice and redemption.
At this point, it was obvious to see where the movie would go from here.
After Washburn’s frequent screw-ups, you know in the end he’ll become the hero and win back his job completing the fairytale ending.
Thank God, for Fallon’s cuteness and Latifah’s sarcasm because without it, as soon as the all-girl, supermodel robbery team came out in their basically non-existing outfits, I was ready to throw my popcorn in the air and run out screaming. Does every movie of this caliber have to rely on sex appeal to ensure a young audience? Geez … find some originality.
Of course, this genre of teen cinema would not be complete without some form of girl-on-girl action.
As the female lieutenant offers herself as a hostage in order to release an innocent boy, Vanessa (Gisele Bunchen), the criminal mastermind, proceeds to give her a full pat down, including plenty of butt and boob squeezing.
This was a great delight for both the men in the movie and in the theater.
To get myself through the annoying, stereotypical male fantasy, I just kept thinking how hilarious it would be to see these four supermodels actually attempt to change a tire in stilettos and bathing suits, like they do with such ease in the movie.
In the end, I was glad to reunite with my old friend Jimmy, but I sincerely wish it had been on my beloved Saturday night instead of during a slightly tolerable attempt at comedy.