Lights on. Lights off. With a partner. Without a partner. No, these are not Mr. Miyagi’s commands from “The Karate Kid Part IV.” These are just some of the wonderful subjects touched upon in “The Guide to Getting It On.”

Written by Paul Joannides, this book reads like “The Joy of Sex” with a sense of humor.

“The Guide to Getting It On” is clearly aimed at a college-aged crowd or who I like to call cheerleaders and the guys who love them … a lot.

The book also dispels myths made famous by porn movies. Apparently deeper is not always better.

Legend has it, that ’60s pop singer Mama Cass Elliot died choking on a ham sandwich. If you think that’s embarrassing, imagine how embarrassed you’d be if you were to … let’s just leave it at deeper is not always better.

The “Guide” can get a little graphic, offering anatomically correct drawings to back up the straightforward language used to describe its subject matter.

Joannides values the input of others, as the book is filled with comments and suggestions from every day people on subjects ranging from “variations in wetness” to “what does an orgasm feel like.”

The book does not discriminate. It touches on heterosexual activities as well as homosexual and even devotes an entire chapter called “Sex when you’re horny and disabled.”

While this book may be an interesting primer, it is by no means a prelude to intimate activity. So the next time you’re cozying up next to your partner, do not pull out the book, open it up and say, “I want to try this” unless you want to try it alone. Lights off.