Since high school, 43-year-old Beckey Riley has dealt with being put down, unaccepted by some and misjudged by others because she is gay.

“If a person had a choice to be straight they would be, because nobody would choose to be ridiculed with this kind of lifestyle,” Riley said.

She said she gets tired of the things people say, such as “faggot,” “queer” and “dike.” She gets tired of being told she’s wrong or sick or needs help.

Riley is a Bakersfield College student pursuing a degree in animal science. She wants to someday write an educational book for children, and she also enjoys photography.

She is happy with her fiancÇe, Lori Carter, who she has been with her for 11 years.

Riley said that she believes she has been gay all her life. She knew this before the age of 10, when she was impressed with the women in lingerie in catalogs such as J.C. Penney.

“I already knew that I liked the way women looked better than guys; they just didn’t do anything for me,” Riley said.

Riley had her first sexual experience with a 13-year-old girl at age 11.

“I was a virgin until I was 21 years old,” she said.

“The only reason I slept with a guy is because I had a whole bunch of friends telling me how do you know if you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it? So I did. I was right, I didn’t like it.”

Riley said her mother knew she was gay but didn’t discuss it until Riley was 24. Riley said her father lives in denial about her being gay and still seems to push her away. When he first found out about her being gay, he said, “You need help, you need professional help. You need to see a psychiatrist.” After that, Riley and her father didn’t speak for about 10 years. Today, Riley said her father says he wants to see her but doesn’t put out the effort to do so.

Riley said her preference might have to do with her father, who told her she didn’t need a man in her life to help her do anything. He would tell her she had to do it all.

“My father raised me that way,” she said. “He raised me to be self-sufficient, never to need anyone for anything.”

Riley doesn’t think she has had a negative effect on the campus community except for the day she proposed to Lori on Feb. 3. There were comments overheard in the cafeteria where some people felt it was wrong for her to propose.

Riley’s response to that was, “If you don’t want to see it, don’t look, turn your head.”

Riley has never had children and is not sorry that she hasn’t. She says she has plenty of kids on campus.

“I have 10 to 15 kids on campus who have adopted me and call me mommy,” she said.

Riley has put up with gay bashing through the years. She has been in stores where she is mistakenly called sir.

Riley said some cities, such as San Francisco and Los Angeles, have gay pride weekends, and some people try to cause problems at those events. She said some people call them names and tell them, “God’s going to kill you all.”

Riley’s take on those causing problems is, “If what they say is true about God, he loves all his children. He just wants everybody to be happy, then why in the world would he be mad at me? I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m just loving somebody.”