The next stop in our cross-city surveys of the different areas in and around Bakersfield lands us in central downtown. Geographically it is one of the smallest areas to be covered. However, downtown is so packed with an incredible variety of attractions that it would be an overstatement to say that we had even scratched the surface of the experiences to be had here.
Zingo’s CafÇ
3201 Buck Owens Boulevard
A classic truck stop cafÇ right off Freeway 99, they do truck stop food with classic, greasy American zeal. What you don’t want to do when you come here, is go outside these narrowly defined cuisine boundaries. Steer that 18-wheeler clear of the French dip sandwich, or anything else with a foreign-sounding name. Well, excluding the French fries.
Westchester Liquors and the Filling Station
2408 F St. and 1830 24th St.
Located in adjacent buildings, these are two completely different stores selling completely different kinds of drinks. Westchester Liquors is run by three of the nicest beer-selling guys you will ever meet. Spending a few weeks getting acquainted with their beer selection will skyrocket you to beer-snob greatness, annoying the hell out of your buddies content with the Silver Bullet. The Filling Station looks like a gas station, but it serves coffee. Coffee is fuel for the soul.
CLS Pets
3105 F St.
At CLS Pets, they put their ice cream freezer (yeah, ice cream in a pet store) right next to the rabbit bins. Our guess is that this is to soften you up for when you reach the section of the store titled “Really Big Snakes.”
Lyle’s College of Beauty
2935 F St.
Who says you need to complete your IGETC in order to transfer to real college?
Golden State Mall
3201 F St.
Hidden within all the replicate clothing stores is 08SK8 Skateboard Company. At the desk sits Jenny, who explains that the store used to be online, but, “These kids don’t have credit cards,” she gestures to two young skaters as they sheepishly point to the visors and t-shirts bearing the company logo. She has her own skate team, and has 5 sponsors for the local shredders. Also, there is the Casa de Tequila. After spending about 15 minutes in this store, one feels as though they have been transported to the world of a tequila underground, where Patron and Jose Cuervo are simply diversions to keep the uninitiated from discovering what true tequilerios savor and crave.
Downtown Records
1518 19th Street
Not only is there a ton of vintage vinyl here, most of it is actually good. And although it is redundant to describe anything having to do with vinyl records as obsolete, the selection here makes bargain bin shopping at the Goodwill pretty obsolete. They also have a library of old independent publications that they don’t mind you sitting around and reading for a little bit while you wait for the guys at Gigantic Vintage to come back from lunch.
Gigantic Vintage
1515 19th Street
They sell locally produced jewelry, art, and music. They have shows, they do tailoring, and they have a steady flow of sweet Aloha shirts.
Sandrini’s
1918 Eye St.
This is a classy basement bar with a respectable cuisine to be offered. The best part about Sandrini’s is that it offers an important bridge between your desire to hang out in a bar, and your date’s desire to hang out in a nice restaurant.
Kozmo’s
1623 19th St.
Don’t miss singing Piano Man on stage with everyone else in the bar at midnight on Thursday nights. DJ Kyle presents an awesome karaoke show, and they have a special event called “Kill the Keg.” If you time your drinking just right by getting the final beer out of the keg they tap for the contest, you will win a nice shirt that you can wear on your classy date mentioned in the previous reviews.
Emporium Western
1031 19th St.
Every citizen of Bakersfield should own at least one pair of boots, just to wear for trips to L.A.
Bakersfield Museum of Art
1930 R St.
Art majors should go here just to remind themselves of the level they need to be at in order to represent Kern County. Anyone who thinks that polluted valleys don’t breed artistic virtue needs to check themselves before they wreck themselves.
The Amtrak Station
601 Truxtun Avenue
If you are depressed because you think that Bakersfield has nothing to offer, and you are bored with the so-called lack of adventure and excitement here, then this is your answer. Listen up Kerouac, stop making excuses about how you need a few more semesters to save up money and move to New York to live in the East Village, write folk music, smoke dope, and be recognized for the true genius that you are.
Sack up, and take the train out of here.
I bet the long ride across Illinois will get you just a little bit appreciative of Bakersfield, as well as teach you what a small town really is.
McMurtrey Aquatic
1325 Q St.
McMurtrey has two waterslides. Don’t go rushing there right now, because it is really cold.
Write yourself a memo for when summer gets here, though.
The waterslides look suspiciously like the waterslides that used to occupy the Raging Waters park that used to be in Bakersfield.
Too bad they didn’t get the Maze Craze, too.
Big trees in front of the mansion
corner of Cedar St. and 24th St.
These are easily the best trees in Bakersfield. Go ahead and spend some time looking at them. Just don’t wander off embarrassed when the owner comes and investigates why you are looking at her trees.What feels like embarrassed to you, looks like suspicious to her. Suspicious means terrorist, so go ahead and introduce yourself, and ask her some questions about the trees.