When most people think about a single parent, they think of a mother who struggles to work hard, support and provide for her child. But in today’s society, the roles of parenthood are not only limited to being a mother.
For 27-year-old Brock Downing, being a full-time college student and worker never takes precedence over fatherhood even in the midst of a busy schedule. From schoolwork and finals to potty training 3-year-old son Aydin, being a good father is top priority in the hectic lifestyle that parenthood entails.
Downing was the product of a single-parent home in which his mother was the primary caretaker.
“Not having a father my entire life, and still to this day not knowing who my father was, I just would never allow or let myself bear the thought of my son not knowing or having his father there,” he said.
“I think it made my parenting ten times better, but it gets hard at times because I never had that father figure to teach and train me in anything. But I look at it like, ‘OK, if I did have one, this is how I would want my father to teach me and raise me.’”
Downing cherishes being a dad and refers to the day his son was born saying, “I was overwhelmed in my heart. He takes after me in every way known to man from his personality, his looks, his attitude, and his whole persona.”
But whilst Downing feels parenting is gratifying, he also feels it’s difficult.
“At first I was scared because I didn’t want one, and I didn’t plan on it,” he said. “I was still nowhere in my life at the time, and it really screwed me up emotionally, but at the same time it changed my life, turned everything around, and made it better.”
For this hardworking father, getting an education and pursuing a good career is the best way to set up a successful life for his son.
“I just go to school and finish my degree so I can make life better for me and him,” he said. “The only thing that’s really important to me is that he has a roof over his head and that he wakes up laughing and smiling every day.”
Even under the pressure to be a dependable father and trying to succeed in getting a college degree, Downing admits that there are aspects of being a parent that he does fear.
“The scariest part of parenting is losing him,” he said. “Not like he’s kidnapped, but just losing him as in ‘screw you dad’ or messing up to where he hates you. Or the other parent comes and tries to take him away and they’ve never been there. That was the hardest and scariest moment when he was almost taken away from me.”
The responsibility and love for being a father has led Downing to fight for his son. He currently has custody and is striving to give Aydin the best.
“Even though it’s hard at times just make sure that your child is always there and taken care of and happy,” he said. “Even the times he’s not happy, just make him happy. Do anything you possibly can to make him enjoy and live life.”