The comedy of the moment came from the honesty in the conversation.
“What do you look at when you look at a woman?” asked Andrea Caldwell, a relationship therapist.
The room of young people greeted the question with laughter. A young man responded that he’s looking for a girl who’s “cool to hang with,” and is drama-free.
Another chimes in that he wants a girl who “isn’t childish.”
The young women in the group object loudly but in good humor, commenting that the guys aren’t perfect. This evolves into a critique of the less-than-finer aspects of men and women in a relationship.
Caldwell mediated the discussion.
“We have forgotten that relationships are friendships … now it’s just an intimate sexual thing,” she said. “When it’s over, do we even try to communicate with each other?”
Caldwell was one of the three presenters at the 16th annual Central Valley Youth Leadership Conference held recently at Bakersfield College. Approximately 140 teens from Bakersfield and Wasco high schools came to BC to discuss their futures, their goals and their love lives.
The most popular session of the day was Caldwell’s relationship seminar. As one of the three workshops, the relationship/anger management counselor used her time to highlight communication and self-esteem. Caldwell has spoken on relationships at the conference for the past three years, encouraging group participation to actively bring the teens into the discussion.
“I try to delve into some of the myths and assumptions that we have in a relationship,” she said.
The youth conference works with high school counselors and high school clubs to get in touch with students who have an interest in attending.
June Charles, program assistant in BC’s Martin Luther King Jr. Center, coordinated the event. Her goal is to “give them tools that will last them a lifetime.”
“I hope to give … students inspiration to start thinking about their futures and achieve their goals.”
The event, put on by the MLK Jr. Center, familiarized the teens with the campus and its programs, and encouraged them to continue their education. This year’s conference, “Your Blueprint for Lifetime Achievement,” consisted of an orientation as well as three separate discussions on academic planning, perseverance and relationships.
E.J. Callahan, gave a presentation on perseverance, with a focus on self-worth, setting goals and overcoming obstacles.
Pricilla Long, an Equal Opportunity Program transfer counselor at California State University, Bakersfield, held a workshop on academic and career planning. This seminar centered on college careers.
“We want them in school, whether it’s finishing high school or going to college. BC, Cal State, whatever their route is,” she said.