It’s midnight before a test, and you have not read the book. What do you do? You do what any other college kid in your position would do – watch the miniseries of course! You frantically flip to A&E searching for something that looks book-like. Instead, you get some middle-aged guy and a butch chick talking down a rough trick named John.
Nothing can replace a novel, but the adaptations A&E has produced, such as Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” are excellent. Now the channel I once loved offers “Dog the Bounty Hunter,” “Growing up Gotti” and a Hulk Hogan “Biography.” It’s like realizing your once romantic boyfriend now hands you a bag of cheese doodles and calls it a night out.
The worst of the offenders has to be the new “reality” show, “Dog the Bounty Hunter.” The show follows the adventures of Duane “Dog” Chapman and his posse as they take down the criminal element. Although Chapman had a hand in catching notorious Max Factor heir Andrew Luster, not every catch is as interesting. This tough biker-type uses mace to take down punk kids on the mean streets of Hawaii. An ex-con with a heart of gold, Dog alternately spends his time praising the Lord with his family and going out to kick some demon butt. The juxtaposition is cool for an episode but quickly begins to repeat itself.
“Growing up Gotti” fairs a little better – but not much. Victoria Gotti is living the real surreal life. Daughter of former mob boss John Gotti, Victoria accepted the offer to show everyone she wasn’t just some mob chick. She isn’t just a mob daughter, she’s also a ghetto fabulous Jersey girl with too much money and a hot temper.
In one episode, she and her three bad-ass children (as well as a large number of their friends) go to Miami on vacation. Under the supervision of Victoria and two inept chaperones, the trip quickly turns chaotic. It comes to a twisted end when Ms. Gotti decides to take revenge on one of the chaperones, Quack, by convincing him her brother is coming to whack him. This does not help lessen her mob persona.
These shows appeal to our innate pleasure in voyeurism. But they don’t have any relevance for a channel that is supposed to be about art as well as entertainment. Lame reality TV has a home. It’s called Fox and it should stay there. Please A&E, ditch the Dog and get back to what you do best: quality TV.