What is the world’s oldest profession? Prostitution? Wrong! The world’s oldest profession is advertising, because before the first prostitute could retail her body she had to let the consumers know it was available.
By no means am I a big fan of advertising. I hate those pop-up ads you see on the Internet as much as anyone. However, being the world’s oldest profession, advertisers have learned a trick or two and in no way will they allow consumers to negate their work.
The multimillion-dollar salaries given to the stars of our favorite shows are paid for not by the fans, but by advertisers who do so in exchange for the airing of commercials for their wares.
TiVo, for those who don’t know, and I applaud you if you don’t, is a device that allows you to record television programming digitally and gives you the option of skipping over commercials that these advertisers pay for with millions of dollars.
The fall out of TiVo is that advertisers will either stop advertising on television and free TV will be a thing of the past, or their commercials will go from being placed between the scenes to being placed on the show ala pop-up ads.
We have already seen this fallout via reality shows such as “American Idol,” which interviews contestants in a room filled with a couch shaped like a Coca-Cola label and advocates text messaging through your cell phone. What’s with that guy on that home makeover show who shouts through a bullhorn, “Make way for the Sears furniture!”
Honestly the worst thing about TiVo, in my opinion, is the fact that eventually I, too, will own one.
Being Jewish, guilt is a part of my life. Just as I feel guilty about eating meat and wearing a leather jacket, I again will feel guilt when a giant Trojan condom bounces across the screen during a debate over stem cells.
Is TiVo something that will cause a paradox that will destroy the world? In a word, yes. If television is as much a part of your life as it is mine then the fallout of such an explosion will be felt for eternities. It’s Armageddon folks.
I suggest taking up arms and defending yourself so you don’t feel the wrath from a few radicals who think they’ve won a war they cannot possibly win.