With the end of the 2004 presidential elections comes the inevitable talk of ending the rift between the Democratic and Republican parties.
Bull.
The parties have spent the campaign year tearing one another apart, and now call a truce when the dust settles. Even though everyone is making a big show of trying to get along, everyone still hates each other. It’s a sick game of Spy vs. Spy. I’ve had enough of the way our government is handling itself. We are so polarized on central issues, we might as well engage in open warfare.
Let’s speed up the House and Senate debates over bills by using the cage-match style arena. Man to man (or woman) bare-knuckle brawling over tax issues. Imagine the Rumble in the Jungle over zoning rights. We can use it to work out the aggression we have as a country and be fun and educational. It will be a whole new take on infotainment. I mean, who really watches C-Span besides the elderly and the socially inept?
If we televise the cage matches in a pay-per-view format showcasing all its middle-aged sissy fighting glory, we can use the proceeds to fund education and other neglected public programs. These two components are important to our system of law, but much of it is bloated with the minor details of what could be simple actions.
A closer look at H.R.2577 shows it to be a movement to “designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 310 South State Street in St. Ignace, Mich., as the Bob Davis Post Office Building” and took 16 meetings over the course of nearly one year to be passed. The cage fight system would streamline this. As soon as the opposing opinion hits the mat, you know if the motion is passed or not.
We can’t manage to get along as a country, so we might as well make the best of our warlike disposition.