If you are ever seeking out some enriching reading material in your spare time on campus ladies, and checking out “War And Peace” from the Grace Van Dyke Bird library doesn’t sound that appealing – go ahead and check out one of the many women’s restroom stalls.

My inevitable visits to the campus restroom are always enlightening and memorable because of the riveting assortment of information scrawled on the stalls by my fellow students.

Although some of the information isn’t exactly thought-provoking and edifying such as the sentence that reads “I pooped here 10/19/05 8:45 a.m.”

I really have never read a publication that provided such a straightforward and charming collection of insight as the stalls I visit in between classes.

Even though I can’t relate to the experience of getting “stoned,” and I have yet to find Jesus, that hasn’t dissuaded me from examining my fellow students’ random thoughts. Some of my findings, which I’m sure others have also read, consist of advice, announcements, deep thoughts and opinions.

“Guys suck” and “Mexican’s rule the welfare department” are some of the varied and contemplated thoughts you might find written next to the toilet paper.

Of course, notions about the opposite sex and flawed opinions are really the same things that I found in my high school restrooms, but the interesting responses that are written next to the statements is what I think should be the main attraction of the “the little girls room.”

For instance, one Sylvia Plath novice wrote in the Humanities Building restroom “The world is a depressing place,” to which someone responded: “Yes it is. We should all kill ourselves.”

Aside from being persuaded to seek out someone with a Prozac prescription to leave near the toilet, as an English major I do enjoy seeing such expressive manifestations in the most mundane place.

Although a great deal of the material found is quite vulgar, and probably isn’t appreciated by any of the students who happen to read a line, there is one constant statement that I am convinced is written in some form in nearly every restroom on campus and that is “you are all dumb [for] writing on the bathroom stalls.”

The responses surrounding the written hypocritical protests are always interesting and the typical verses may read like this: “Why do losers write on bathroom stalls?”

Then the response: “The same reason you write on them dumb ass,” Then the response: “Jesus loves you.”

I’ve never written on the restroom stalls (the toilet just isn’t a place where I feel inspired to express myself), but after reading so many blatant and inane statements written on the stalls protesting the act, I am nearly compelled to lower myself and break out my black pilot pen.

The opinion that I would mostly likely scribe, under the written statement “You retards are dumb for writing on the stalls,” would probably underscore the fact that the college does ultimately belong to the students, and if they wish to decorate their restroom stalls with smut and proletarian philosophy, they should have the freedom to do so.