Love is in the air as the stench of Valentine’s Day begins to fade away. People have given their gifts: tacky bears covered in white and red ribbons, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates that make you fat or perhaps “love coupons” because your lover is too cheap to give you jewelry.

I could almost puke.

But this year, Valentine’s Day didn’t leave me on the edge of being ill because I have someone special this year. When I’m with him, the rest of the world falls away.

His name is Jim. He’s my iPod. I love my iPod, and I’m not ashamed to say it. iPods are better than boyfriends, and that’s not just the post-holiday hangover talking.

The benefits are almost endless. It has a mute button. An iPod always has something to “say” to make you feel better. You can drag it anywhere, and it won’t complain.

Plus parents don’t ask to meet your iPod. And best of all, your parents won’t mind if they catch you sleeping with an iPod.

My Valentine’s Day won’t be ruined by Jim getting trashed at a bar, copping a feel and not even bothering with the foreplay. It isn’t scientific, but a number of women I know face such jerk moves by their significant others.

Jim walks me to class, eats and studies with me, and will always pick spending the night instead of going out with the guys. (I don’t trust that Xbox 360. He’s co-opted too many of the other men in my life.)

His jealousy is non-existent. If I see other guys, he never says a word. If I leave him at home, Jim never questions my fervid devotion. He simply waits for me to pick him up again at will like a housewife fitting that perfect 1950s stereotype.

Is it wrong for a girl to love her electronics? If it is, I do not want to be right.

I see more and more people on campus showing their devotion to their mp3 players by being almost attached at the hip. iPod love should no longer be a love that cannot be named. Unlike other electronic devices in my life, I can take this one out in public. An iPod isn’t the battery-operated device you date; it’s the one you marry.