My journey with self-love has been difficult due to mental illness, but not impossible. I’ve learned a lot about myself the past few years. It took me growing into an adult, and finding the right mindset to achieve any form of self-love.

The best advice I have for someone who feels like they don’t love themselves is: It takes practice.

You don’t wake up one day, and love yourself. That is not how it works. I won’t sit here and lie to you all. I have my doubts about myself all the time. There are days where I feel like I’m not beautiful enough or good enough. If you deal with a mental illness, then you understand how this might feel.

We have overwhelming feelings that lead to overthinking, questioning our worth, and emotional breakdowns. You can’t always avoid this happening to you. Sometimes crying is good for you, but if you’re crying over your self-worth, please reach out to a friend or family member.

I guarantee they can assure you of how worthy you are. If you have no one to go to, I recommend you call a mental health hotline. From my experience, they are incredibly helpful when you need that reassurance.

When I was going through all the self-hate in my teenage years and part of my adult years, there was one thing that did help me a lot. I started to believe positive comments that others said about me. If someone said I was wonderful, then wonderful I was. It can be hard to find things you love about yourself, but write them down if you ever get doubtful.

What you do is create two lists. One side you write what you love about your physical appearance, and the other you write about what you love internally about yourself.

Making a list can be an eye opener. Do try to add to both sides though because it helps you realize what you do love about yourself at a time when you need the reminder the most.

Another thing I still do to this day is have “self-love days.” I call them this because it is a day I spend time on myself, whether I’m writing, taking bubble baths or binging movies with a bowl of butter pecan ice cream. If I need a little boost of confidence, then I’ll do my makeup according to the way I’m feeling. I wear makeup to express how I feel; don’t think you need to wear it to feel beautiful.

Feeling beautiful without makeup can also be tough however, you eventually get there. When I feel insecure without makeup I like to take care of my skin. I noticed that drinking more water helps my skin more than anything. Also, invest in skin care products that make you feel refreshed. I recently started using rose water on my skin and it feels amazing.

These are all things I have done to make me feel better about myself. The most important part comes from within. You have to believe that you are beautiful and worthy of anything. If you have to repeat the words, “I’m beautiful and strong” when you are having a mental breakdown, then do so. I did it. Do you think it worked? It sure did. I wouldn’t be giving advice on self-love if I didn’t love myself a little bit.

My journey with self-love is still going, but one day I will completely love myself. I believe you will one day get to where you want to be with yourself. Remember it all starts with your mindset. You have the ability to love yourself.