One of the first things I did when I came to Bakersfield College was scout out the various johns on campus. If a man’s home is his castle, then the toilet must be his throne. So it was of great importance to find a throne away from home in which I didn’t have to soak myself with disinfectant after using.

Restrooms on campus can be spilt into time periods.

There are bathrooms that take a page out of “The Jetsons,” with automatic flushing devices that exude such cleanliness that you could eat off the floor (not like you would). And there are those that Fred Flintstone would not even step foot in, reeking of grime and have an age older than dinosaurs.

Unfortunately, bad restrooms out number those that are good on campus. Good restrooms could be defined as those relatively clean and kept, not too much animal infestation, somewhat unused, sort of an oasis of restrooms. Bad restrooms are self-explanatory – those of high traffic, neglect and stuff running around while you are trying to get your business done.

The library seems to have the best combination of cleanliness and newness within a restroom. Yet, you are not alone with the high traffic area that the library represents. Still there is one restroom that is often overlooked and often empty. As you enter the library from the front entrance take a left past the art gallery and you are there. But, there are still drawbacks in this restroom and any found in the library: ants and lighting. Periodically, the lights give a feeling that you are stuck in a Humphrey Bogart movie, like the “Maltese toilet bowl” almost. Ants seem oblivious to the world around them, so marching through a public restroom is the least of their concerns. I guess it provides some cheap entertainment as one waits.

Obviously, this is from a male perspective on restrooms, and no, I have not checked out the accommodations enjoyed by females at BC, but I know it’s a lot better off than what people would lead you to believe. I’ve seen those couches in there. The biggest improvement that I see being done is hiring hostesses to keep the pack girls under control who go in together. “Henderson, party of four,” it is the way the conversation could keep going.

Aside from general purposes, restrooms are impromptu forums of thought and there is no clearer example of that than the facility inside the Science and Engineering building. Within these stalls can be found equations to various subjects and even a “Free Cowboy Hats” exclamation over the toilet seat covers among other things.

Overall, when it comes right down to it, all of this reason goes out the window when you really got to go. For the most part, men treat this business like a runaway semi-driver would. They are just looking for somewhere to stop in a hurry.